I have just spent the last two hours reading all your past posts. Now I feel like I've actually met all my neighbors. Man, you guys are like me! You have crappy stuff going on in your life, mixed in with wonderful stuff going on, and most of the time you courageously suck it up. You enjoy the good and try to survive the bad, meanwhile not inconveniencing anyone in the process. I am so glad that in this beautiful apartment building, we can all let IT out and it's okay.
Whew.
Where do I begin?
First of all, it's scary (as some of you have already mentioned), to write IT down where people can read IT. Turns out it doesn't matter what IT is, or who PEOPLE are, it's still scary and hard. It feels good and cathartic in one moment and crappy, ungrateful, and embarrassing the next.
I am a person who cares what others think of her. Perhaps too much. I care so very much that I tend to keep all my problems to myself, which is wearing me out. When I do find the courage to share, I always tell a sanitized, edited version of the truth. I'm worried that I'll be judged for IT or that IT will always be in the back of people's minds when they think of me.
ARGH. I wish I could move past this part of myself. Maybe that's what this pink apartment will do for me. It will help me to not care what other people think of me so much.
Except it's still there a little bit. Because even though you don't know "me", you still know Constance #25, and that's still a part of me. So basically, I hope to find an encouraging and friendly place here (which I know I will, having read so many of your supportive comments to each other already.)
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